Cold and distant is the silver moonshine.
Burning a hole in my soul,
Rendering me alone, an inhuman swine.
Unfit for love; A troll.
Lost in lies and deceit,
Places where blood means nothing
And family chews upon mine meat.
Whereupon within their mouths, the juices sweet.
No home, no home to return to.
No hole to retreat to.
And forsooth! thereupon the isle of Abandonment,
Doth my guardian angel lie in sable raiment.
Challenges do the uncouth yell,
Sparking to life flick’ring flames of cold anger
That rages to burst forth a gout of Hell.
Blood boils in mine eyes of onyx
The body, sooner inflammed,
Sooner tires.
And withers.
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Wow wow wow. I’m back here again. On the same day!
I must have something really good to say!
Well.
I don’t.
I’m just going to rant online, just because i feel like typing.
Hmm. Ivan can’t make it for open house on Friday. Well. Bummer. He’s enlisting on that day. He can’t complain.Proud commando boy. Whilst i go in standard just like everyone else. Ah wells. There’l be something good about it. Fo’ sure. i hope.
And now, andrew is giving me 101 Neopets. … Yes. i’m that useless. I actually do have trouble playing neopets. Yea. Earning money/neopoints is… not really much of a joyride. quite taxing.
Wish my mother could just shut it. She’s just asking for a negative response. She thinks she can just freely yell without me getting pissed off. My father too. Thinks i’m some goddamn machine or something. Just standing there and taking all the shit. Yeah. Load. Go fucking right ahead and load me up with all your crap. I don’t lie all the time. Speak of forgiveness to me why don’t you. Let me giggle. Speak of forgetting why don’t you. Maybe i should continue to hold grudges. Dorville says it’s horrible to hold a grudge. But hey. To each his own right? You want me to survive right?
I see no distinction. To me, the lines are blurred.
I’ll blow up in your face i swear.
Facebook games are hard.
Haven’t heard from Dorville in a week. Miss her a lot. Especially now. When everything seems to be rotting and i’ve got no one to turn to. God. Problem is God never speaks back, and while i don’t have a problem with that, sometimes, you just need a voice.
Is this what it is to grow up? Am i supposed to be a twisted picture of childhood innocence? Pity this blog doesn’t get much attention. There’s food for thought. What have you grown into lately?
I use to be able to talk freely to almost anyone. But even talking and opening up to Dorville lately has become hard. She’ll ask a sensitive question, and i’ll respond untruthfully, or just change the subject. Whats wrong. Am i scared to let her, or anyone else for that matter, see what i really am like? Or have i just become an emotional recluse? I can’t even speak to Rod anymore. Not him, not Nicole, not Shoes, not Joel, not Marcus, not anyone.
God, whats wrong with me.