What time is left us?
The precious grains of which i squander.
Flinging it to the open winds
To be carried into a great blue, yonder.

What selfishness hast overcome me?
Taking control of all i do.
Like a canker over my soul’s delight
Making me look like a tom-fool.

But no more. It will be turned about.
Right side up this time.
No more shall i grovel in the currents of Life.
But to stand and breathe the sweet smell of thyme.

I will love. As hard as i may.
And i pray hard to the Almighty,
Of whom i have done much wrong,
That my sins, big and small, may never find me.

Where can i start? For my heart is empty again.
Barren, like the blue sky above, soon to be riddled with storm clouds.
Dry and unmerciful, like the desert’s sudden winds.
Cold as the poles of the planet, unable to love or bear warmth.
Ever again.

And without knowing it, i have already written.
The words flow like a stream that blesses the cursed ground
Upon which it glides, sweeping away the sins.
Just for a time. Until the sun burns the moisture
And the pain is renewed.

Why? Why so much enforced melancholy?
Is it enforced?
Or does it come as naturally as a confined geyser.
Burning the air as it erupts.
Scorching the essence of existence.

I want to love. To embrace it with my dying heart.
But i find i am unable to.
Too much pain. Not worth the trouble. Or is it?
Is love that worth it? is pain a small price to pay for
It’s seemingly unending light?

To some perhaps. But not to me.
Love has failed me. Or I it. either way,
I gave up on it a long time ago. Melting it in the fires
Of my hatred’s passage.
Igniting it in my passionate destruction

Of self and soul.

My scars tell my tales. Read them if you can.

Lines. Across from side to side.
Straight. From top to bottom.
Some thin, some thick.
It’s hard to say whats what.

So much confusion i feel these days.
Not everything is as straight as it seems.
Not vertical,
Nor horizontal.

No.
There is the grey matter.
The in-between.
The forty-five degree line.

Smack in the middle of no where.

At this very moment, reclining in my chair.
With possibilities at my fingertips,
I choose you.
Again. Once more. To be the essence of my creation.
The meaning behind the choice. My reason.
Of all things beautiful and good.
Things that i love.

I’ve closed my eyes. Dreaming of the times,
When we were close by.
I could feel your presence,
Like a caress on the soul itself. Gentle. Yet permeating.
The epitome of all i hold dear,
Of the life i chafed at for so long.
The love i briefly found in pain.

Now i have it. It is mine to hold, for a while.
Your essence locked in memory,
Where Time’s touch is nulled.
I let it go. Freeing it of the confines i have set.
Allowing it to fill me up, to the brim.
Filling with the emotions i have locked away,
Away. From sight and sun.

This is what happens, when i sit to create.
Words that merge and join,
Twirling in an eternal dance of
Unlimited meaning. Meaning that can twist the mind,
Whilst offering a balm to the soul at the same time.
My thoughts into physical form,
With you in between.

The purpose of this, i know not.
This idle collection of stanzas and phrases.
What does it mean to do?
The answer is not clear to me,
As i pine in your absence,
Like a dejected pet.
All i am aware of,

Is how suspended i am
Without you.

I will Whine no more.

I wish to speak. To hear my voice form the words i’ve long forgotten. But i cannot. i am stricken dumb by time.

I wish you to hold me. And tell me everything will be alright. Chasing my night-demons away, as well as the ones i see with my waking eyes. But I cannot. You are not here.

I wish to feel again Love as it should be felt. Like a warm fire started on the inside. Burning away the hate and anger. Till i rest in it’s embrace. But I cannot. Love has gone away.

I wish to see. To view color from my own eyes. Letting visions wash over me. But i cannot. I am blinded by a silent grief that i cannot expel.

I wish to fly. On wings i never had. Feeling the rush of wind and the glory of sheer flight. But I cannot. Confined to lands’ limit.

I wish. But it’s better if i don’t.

Lightning lights the night.
Smiting the thick blanket
Of swirling dreams,
With a heavy hammer of explosion.

The raven stirs.
From his lofty perch upon the rowan,
He lifts.
All in a gentle push of the wings.

He flies.
In his beaks is soul.
In his stomach are my dreams.
And in his talons, clutched, is the love i never had.

Whither does he go?
Away over the distant horizon,
Lit briefly by the forks of heaven.
Taking it all away from me.

I had nothing to begin with.
I have nothing to end with.
And it burns my empty heart to know,
My life was in vain.

Oh i live still.
I breathe, walk ,talk.
Dwelling still in the mundane.
Crawling in muck.

But the part that makes me
Is no longer here.
Torn and taken,
Chained and condemned.

Be at peace, my soul.
Away now, all my dreams!
Rest easy in the Raven’s care.
And. My love. I never knew thee well.

No more warmth is left to me in this world.
Only the cold.
No more light is left to me in this world.
Only the darkness.

My eyes are clouded with despair.
No one will rescue me this time.
No one will steal me from Fate’s grasp.
No one. Is there.

My friends,
Where art thou?
If ye hide beneath my shadow,
Come hither.

But i know you are not there.
No longer.
Solitude, cursed Solitude,
Has been laid upon my weary frame.

You made me what i am,
Dear once-companions.
Filling my life with hope.
In laughter and joy.

Through hardship, as i yielded.
It was all of you whom dragged me on.
Past dirt and cold,
In blood and sweat.

The smallest Spartan there ever was,
And yet. A Spartan.
Fighting alongside everyone else.
Your reward for hard labours.

But now my blood is faded.
What Spartanhood i have
Has passed into the darkness,
Armor for my kidnapped soul.

My friends. i Love thee.
All.
But that love too hast been stolen.
Away into the deeps of time’s void.

And to you, Unnamed.
My love for you, only i know.
For shame i have in fear and weakness
That i never revealed it to you.

Your laughter and smile.
The glint in warm eyes of deepest brown.
The gentlest of touches.
And yet, i was only a friend.

I’m glad my heart and soul have been forfeited.
And my dreams burnt to oblivion.
As it is,
I can no longer grieve.

A Lie of Hope

I’m not in freefall anymore.
No longer tumbling down the craggy
Precipices of rocky self-damnation.
For today, I am free!

Trapped not in a hopeless love,
That captures the soul in empty promises
Of an everlasting passion
That would burn the world, If it could.

Loosed of the bondage
That has held me so long,
With words that never birthed
From a once-beloved voice.

No longer holding on to foolishness,
Hanging over the gorge of despair.
Enduring exertion beyond limit
Just for a mere breath, a prayer.

My mind, is beyond that.
I stand now, on two feet,
By my will. My choice.
I stand alone now.

Mid-Spring’s Dystopia

It’s a bright and glorious morning,
Golden drops of sun lights up the dew drops.

Fire! Fire! Violence and slaughter!
Swords drawn, painting the air with blood!

Highlighting the full-figured tulips,
Shaken by a gentle wind from the heavens.

Screams of the dying. Slipping in gore.
The flight of the blackened arrow, entombed in flesh.

It plays on the lush grasses on the hills,
Whilst song-birds sing their full-throated tune.

Oath-breaker! Souls rent in two,
A butchery of man-flesh. Darkness.

Rocking fragrant ferns with a gentle passion.
The crumbling of glory, rotted carcassed Death, carressed.

Oh wondrous!
The dawn of a new day

The Raven

Dark clouds boil,
Spilling past the greying
Skyline.
Stealing the light from our gaze,
Billowing from a source unseen.

Blending invisible in the dark,
He soars forth from his
Nest amongst the distant canopies.
An angel of the dark, feeding
On fear and superstitious meats.

A blade-like beak releases a
Lamentant croak.
Like a withered slice of wisdom
Aged and broken in places,
Stretching through Time and Space.

Into the distance he soars,
Gliding on our hopes and dreams.
A blotch on all light,
A bringer of darkness enfoloding.
The night cloaks his very passage.

Whither the Raven goes,
Nobody knows.

Hope Of Peace

Running from the dark horrors of my heart,
Racing away from the winged terrors
Of a seemingly perpetual night.
I lose myself in the dark.

Awaken! Stirred from disturbed slumber,
By the glint of the Sun’s rays,
Through the boughs of a silver-wood,
Catching, on it’s descent, on golden leaves.

Beneath my grimy bodice
Is grass, blessed grass!
Soft to the touch of callused skin,
As silk is to a grievous wound.

Imperturbed, i walk.
Wondering whither it is i am,
Upon what ground do i traverse?
What will i find lying in wait?

In this forest of Spring,
Filled with the promise
Of Spring’s passion.